There are some problems in my friend group that are difficult to deal with, since one friend basically left the group last year. It is an interpersonal conflict, but it is kind of difficult to classify because it is one person’s interactions with all other people of one group. I have ended up being the middle man between the friend that left and all the other friends. I would say the cause of this conflict is miscommunication and it is in the unit level of relationship. The miscommunication happens mostly because the majority of the group members do not engage in active listening and they often come into discussions with preconceived notions. There is a dimension of self-fulfilling prophecy, because each friend expects the other to act in a certain way, and when they see those actions happening their beliefs are reinforced. It is really still in that stage of conflict, without anyone working towards a resolution. The friend who left the group has mostly withdrawn from the conflict and refuses to acknowledge any problems, or only acknowledges them in a passive aggressive manner. All sides are using the attribution error as well, since they see their own actions as understandable and rational, while they attribute other people’s actions to their personalities. Personally, I believe that I handle conflicts very well, but in this particular conflict I am not a main player, I am more of a mediator. I actually frequently take the role of mediator in conflict, working to make sure each side understands the other and trying to make sure that I understand everyone’s feelings. When I am involved as a mediator I often put my own feelings aside even if I am very invested in a conflict. As soon as I talk to the person that I am upset with I loose some of my frustration, because then I am better able to understand their point of view. I think that I am very good at active listening, and overall good at handling interpersonal conflicts.
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